Everything is your fault. That’s what you tell yourself. The argument with your partner, your fault. Your colleague’s bad mood, your fault. Your friend’s disappointment, your fault. The weather’s ruined the party, somehow, also your fault. You go through life saying sorry for things you didn’t do, taking responsibility for events you couldn’t control, and…
Here’s the uncomfortable truth: you don’t find yourself, you create yourself, and that takes effort, direction, and time. Not just a summer, not just a sabbatical, it takes years of consistent, deliberate work pointed in a direction that matters to you. The person you want to become isn’t waiting to be discovered somewhere on a…
You want to change. You know you need to change. Maybe you’ve read the books, made the plans, set the goals. But when you try to actually do something different, your brain puts up a fight. Every single time. Often inconsistency-avoidance tendency is to blame, and it’s often the reason change feels so bloody difficult…
You have a limited number of good decisions in you each day. After that, the quality of your decisions starts to suffer, and the dangerous thing is you won’t always notice it happening until after you’ve already made those bad choices. That’s the nature of decision fatigue: it degrades your thinking precisely when your thinking…
Give someone a little extra and often they barely notice, but try to take something away and you’ll fight like your life depends on it to get it back. That’s deprival super-reaction, and it’s probably controlling more of your decisions than you realise. We don’t react the same way to loss and gain. Have a…
Have you ever asked yourself if your stress is a real thing? I’ve been a doctor for over 30 years, and I’ve never seen stress appear on a blood test or under a microscope because it has no physical form. You can’t weigh it, scan it, or generally prescribe something to take it away. Stress…
Positivity’s brilliant. That is until it becomes a substitute for action. There’s an entire industry built on selling you the idea that if you just think positive thoughts, visualise your goals, manifest your desires, and believe hard enough, the universe will provide. You’ll get the job, the relationship, the money, the life you want. All…
This lesson is all about the concept of boundaries in your life; on one hand, they are meant to be pushed, on the other, they create a place of safety within their walls. I see a lot of self-help literature that tells you, in no uncertain terms, to live a life without limits, to tread…
You’re going to be fine. That’s what you tell yourself, you’re less likely to get lung cancer even though you smoke. You’re less likely to have a car accident even though you text while driving. You’re less likely to fail even though you haven’t prepared, you’re going to be the exception to the rule. That’s…
Nobody likes being wrong. That’s not a character flaw. It’s human, but some people take it further. They don’t just dislike being wrong, they can’t tolerate it. They’ll move heaven and earth to avoid being proven wrong, to reframe the evidence, to find anyone who agrees with them. Then they make a critical error, they…