Perhaps you’re making the same mistakes over and over again. You know you are. Same arguments with your partner. Same problems at work. The same patterns repeating themselves in your life. The same poor decisions leading to the same disappointing outcomes. Why? Because you’re not reflecting. You’re just repeating. Reflection in its simplest terms is…
You’ve got it backwards. You think you need motivation before you can take action. That’s why you’re stuck. That’s why the project stays on your hard drive and never makes it into the world. That’s why you join gyms in January and stop going by February. That’s why you tell yourself you’ll start when you…
Everyone fails at some time in their lives and failure hurts, it undoubtedly leaves scars, mentally and emotionally. Every day of my working life I see people sitting opposite me telling me about something that has failed in their lives, their relationships, their body, their treatment, their marriage, their business, or something else in their…
Most people confuse being busy with making progress. They work hard. They put in the hours. They stay late and get up early. And at the end of it, they look back at the last six months and struggle to explain what actually moved forward. The effort was real. The results are hard to point…
We talked about failure in the last chapter, this lesson is about the other F word and that is Fear. Fear is that primitive, hardwired drive that’s been keeping humans alive since before we had language to describe it. Fear is one of the most powerful emotions you have. It sharpens your senses, floods your…
Feedback is said to be the food of champions. It’s a key to successful practice and an essential part of how any learner actually improves, that’s why higher level performers in almost any field actively look for feedback. Not because they enjoy being told what’s wrong with them, but because they’ve worked out that without…
“Try to pose for yourself this task, not to think of a polar bear, and you will see that the cursed thing will come to mind every minute.” Dostoevsky wrote that in 1863, and whether it be polar bears or purple elephants, often when we don’t want to think of something the reverse happens and…
The simple way of thinking about the law of diminishing returns is what happens when you reach the point where the effort you’re putting in is no longer worth what you’re getting out. Sometimes in life you just keep going, grinding way beyond that point, and you need to stop and ask yourself an honest…
Welcome to Internal Hurdles. This is built around a single, honest premise: setbacks happen to everyone. The question was never whether you’d face them. It’s whether you have the tools, the understanding, and the mindset to get back up when they do. Most of the obstacles standing between you and the life you want aren’t…
This article is about conditions of worth — a term coined by the psychologist Carl Rogers for something most of us carry without ever naming it: the terms other people set, usually without meaning to, for when we’re allowed to feel good about ourselves. Rogers’ idea, from his 1959 theory of personality, is that from…