“The map is not the territory.” Alfred Korzybski wrote this early last century, and it’s one of those phrases that sounds obvious until you realise how completely most people ignore it. They confuse the description of reality with reality itself, the menu with the meal, the guidebook with the journey. And then they wonder why…
How Substances (Legal and Otherwise) Keep You Stuck There’s a concept I call the Drug Mis-Influence Tendency that distorts our perception of the world. When this happens, we become vulnerable to harm, often without realising we’re at risk. Things like drugs and alcohol are the main culprits. You just need to witness the carnage in…
Previously, we discussed primary gain, which is the tendency for people to seek reward and avoid pain. The ‘primary’ in primary gain refers to the fact that the behaviour, or the thing that person does or doesn’t do, is giving them a direct benefit. You eat chocolate because it tastes good. You avoid exercise because…
Why You Keep Taking the Same Road and Expecting a Different Destination I’d like to talk about stubbornness for a moment. Stubbornness can work for us or against us. I often see people disadvantaged by a stubborn tendency, people who carry on doing what they’ve always done yet possibly expecting a different result. I also…
Before I go any further, let me be clear about something. I’m not suggesting you’re some kind of narcissistic sociopath hell-bent on destroying everyone and everything around you. But I am about to tell you about a cognitive bias that might make you look in the mirror and wince a bit. Because all of these…
By now, I hope you’re beginning to accept that how you see the world, and a lot of how you think, is influenced by your cognitive biases. These aren’t occasional quirks. They’re running constantly in the background, affecting every decision you make, every interpretation you create, every judgement you form. Most of what you do…
You don’t exist in a vacuum. You’re part of something bigger, whether you want to be or not. Society shapes you, your choices, your problems, your possibilities. Understanding how society works, understanding where you fit within it, understanding the forces acting on you, that’s not abstract academic stuff. It’s essential context for understanding why you’re…
“Ooooh,” I groaned, tilting my head slightly and letting my voice rise just a touch at the end of the sentence. “Your joints must be telling you something?” I was deliberately using what’s known in NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) and Ericksonian Hypnotic language as a selectional restriction violation. Her joints couldn’t actually talk to her,…
In the last few articles, I’ve spent some time describing the different groups that make up your society. I hope you can now see where you fit (or don’t fit) with a little bit more clarity. Maybe you’ve also got a feel for some of the problems you face being where you are. But let’s…
You’re stuck. You know you’re stuck. And yet, every morning you wake up and tell yourself the same comforting lie. “Maybe today will be different. Maybe this time it’ll work out. Maybe I just need to stay positive and things will change.” You’re not optimistic. You’re addicted to hopium. It’s the most socially acceptable drug…