Sometimes when a person gets stuck in a problem, it’s because having that problem gives that person some form of benefit. This effect causes a cognitive bias called primary gain, which can often influence a person’s decision making whilst also making it harder to get rid of that problem. And here’s the uncomfortable truth you…
This article moves away from ostriches and moves us onto elephants. I’m sure you have heard of the expression “don’t mention the elephant in the room,” which refers to an issue that’s so big, that is just so obvious to all, but although being obvious nobody is wanting to confront it. And here’s what you…
Where are you right now? Just take a minute or two and have a little think, as I’m asking this question because I want you to think about your present reality. I want you to be honest with yourself too and really step back and take a look at your situation, because denial of this…
Most people I meet, and most people I talk to professionally, are on the surface just regular people doing the best that they can do to get on with their lives. But go a little deeper, and this is why the self-improvement industry is so large: there are many, many people who want a bit…
“The map is not the territory.” Alfred Korzybski wrote this early last century, and it’s one of those phrases that sounds obvious until you realise how completely most people ignore it. They confuse the description of reality with reality itself, the menu with the meal, the guidebook with the journey. And then they wonder why…
A friend of mine, miserable and exhausted from her job, underpaid compared to colleagues elsewhere, had been offered a role at another practice. She wasn’t taking it. When I asked why, she said something I’ve heard dozens of times in various forms. “But what if it doesn’t work out? What if the new place is…
The thing is you might already know what you need to do. Let’s be honest about this. You know you need to exercise more. You know you should stop scrolling through social media at midnight. You know that job application isn’t going to write itself. You know exactly what needs to change. The problem isn’t…
If any positive changes in your life are to happen, it’s about time you started thinking about where you are right now in your life. Not where you were. Not where you wish you were. Where you actually are, today, in this moment. To help you do this I’m going to introduce you to a…
You’re here because you want something to change. Maybe it’s your job. Maybe it’s your health. Maybe it’s the constant nagging feeling that you’re capable of more, but somehow stuck exactly where you are. Whatever it is, reading this tells me you’re serious about making it happen. Good. That’s the first step. Now here’s the…
A few years ago, I worked with a patient who was struggling badly with anxiety. Not the occasional nerves most people experience before something important, but a persistent, debilitating pattern that was affecting her work, her relationships, and her confidence. At the centre of it was a physical experience she’d come to dread: the racing…