The GROW Model of Coaching

If any positive changes in your life are to happen, it’s about time you started thinking about where you are right now in your life. Not where you were. Not where you wish you were. Where you actually are, today, in this moment. To help you do this I’m going to introduce you to a coaching tool called the GROW model.

In the vast majority of coaching models, the first thing people need is awareness. Awareness of where they are. Awareness of what’s happening in their lives. Awareness of the problems they’re facing. In the GROW model of coaching, the R stands for Reality, and one of the first things a coach does is talk about what’s actually happening in a person’s life right now. Not what they hope is happening. Not what they tell themselves is happening. What’s really happening.

Perhaps you’re in a place you don’t want to be. Perhaps after reading the articles so far, you know a bit more about where you are, a little about yourself, more about the people around you, and a bit more about some of the problems that you and society face today. Or perhaps you’re still lying to yourself. Either way, we’re about to find out.

Are you confused? Frustrated? Unhappy? At this point in your journey, all you really need is a feeling of unrest and the desire to change. That discomfort is useful. That restlessness is fuel. If you’re completely content with everything exactly as it is, you wouldn’t be reading this. So let’s use that energy.

Your present circumstances don’t determine where you can go. They just determine where you start. Hopefully by now you’ve made the choice to start your journey, and with a better understanding of the world around you, you’re ready to map out where you’re actually going.

So let’s get back to some basic coaching. Let’s talk about this tool called the GROW model, which is still one of the most used and established coaching frameworks today. The GROW model was originally developed in the 1980s by business coaches Graham Alexander, Alan Fine, and Sir John Whitmore. You may well have come across it before. If you have, brilliant. If you haven’t, you’re about to.

The GROW model is a goal-oriented behavioural model. It’s ideally suited for sport, business, and things that can be practically fixed. It can also be used as a great tool to help you focus on your life, where you want to get to, give you direction, and help you look at a few of the obstacles you’ll face as well.

I want you to do the GROW model on yourself. It’s a great place to start. It’ll help you map out what you really want to do, and it’ll also help you start thinking about why you want to do it too. Because without the why, the what is pretty useless.

GROW is a great mnemonic. It implies personal growth, which is exactly what we’re after. Most of the time the order it should really be used is R, G, O, W — but that doesn’t spell anything as memorable, so the name has stuck, and we’ll work through it in the order that actually makes sense.

R – Reality: Where You Actually Are

Let’s start with R, and that’s your Reality. Coaching isn’t going to do you much good at all if you’ve got no real idea of where you are right now. You can’t use a map if you don’t know where you’re standing.

Where are you now in your life? What’s happening in your life right now? How does it feel? What would happen if you didn’t do anything?

Take a few minutes to have a think. It’s so important to know where you are before you can find out where to go. Are you somewhere you don’t want to be? How do you feel right now? Maybe you’re already motivated, or maybe your energy levels are in the basement. Perhaps you’re unhappy with the mundane life you’re leading, or maybe you just want to get better at what you’re already doing in life.

Do you really want to stay in this reality? Ask yourself what would happen to your life, your relationships, your energy levels if you stayed doing what you’re doing now. What would happen if you didn’t do anything? Then, for a moment, take some time to also think about what wouldn’t happen if you didn’t do anything either. That second question is just as important as the first.

You need a clear vision of where you are now. Not a vague sense of dissatisfaction. A clear, honest assessment. Go ahead, answer those questions. Think about your life now and get a better picture of your reality. Write it down if you need to. Be honest. No one’s watching. No one’s judging. This is just for you.

Your Next Step: review your answers. Get clear on your reality, your goals, your obstacles and options, and your will, and then start putting the GROW model into practice in your own life.

Further reading

• Whitmore, J. (2017). Coaching for Performance (5th ed.). — the standard text on the GROW model, by one of its originators.
• Rogers, C. R. (1961). On Becoming a Person.
• Prochaska, J. O., & DiClemente, C. C. (1983). Stages and processes of self-change. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 51(3), 390–395.
• Doran, G. T. (1981). There’s a S.M.A.R.T. way to write management’s goals and objectives. Management Review, 70(11), 35–36.
• Duckworth, A. (2016). Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance.