Getting on the Coach

Maybe you’re at home right now, sitting there reading this with a coffee, thinking about all the things you should have done but never got around to, or maybe you’re thinking of the things you should do but you find it difficult to take the first step.

You’ve got dreams, plans and good intentions. Possibly you’ve got a noticeboard full of inspiration, a to-do list as long as your arm and a notes app on your phone crammed with half-finished ideas. But here’s the problem: you’re not actually doing any of it.

I once heard someone describe coaching as akin to getting on a coach, and that coach takes you from where you are now to where you want to go. This simple, straightforward definition is the easiest to take in.

The problem is that most people never actually get on the metaphorical coach. They don’t even make it to the bloody bus stop, never mind getting on the coach.

Why? Because they literally don’t get out of bed. Not physically, perhaps you’re up and moving and going through the motions, but mentally you’re still under the duvet. And all those good intentions you had last night when you were feeling motivated? They pass you by one by one, like buses you watch from the window that you never quite catch.

Let me be brutally clear about something. The Foundation Course before this one was all about you figuring out where you are right now. It was about you looking around at what’s happening in your life, noticing patterns, seeing what’s working and what isn’t. You might be wondering why that’s so important. Here’s why.

Remember back in the free introductory course when I told you this course was both a map and a guide? A map is brilliant, genuinely useful, but here’s the thing about maps. The very first thing you need to do when someone hands you a map is figure out where you bloody well are. You can’t figure out how to get somewhere if you don’t know where you’re starting from. It’s like using Google Maps without the little blue dot showing your location. You’d end up wandering in circles, all the information you need at your fingertips, just a total lack of direction.

That’s exactly what most people do with their lives. They know vaguely where they want to end up (more money, better relationships, healthier body, whatever it is for you), but they haven’t got a clue where they’re actually standing right now, or anything more than a vague idea of where they want to get to. So they stumble around, trying random things, following advice that worked for someone else who was starting from a completely different place. No wonder it doesn’t work.

So that’s why I wanted you to try and work out where you are now. Because knowing that, really knowing it with clarity and honesty, means you can then work out a route. A proper route, not just one with vague hopes and crossed fingers.

Let’s go back to that coaching analogy again. To get on that coach, you first need to get yourself to the bus stop. You need to be ready for change before you can actually make those changes. Think of it as being prepared, properly prepared, not just the sort of half-hearted “I really should do something about this” preparation that most people do.

The next lessons in this course are about what you need to do mentally to get yourself to the bus stop and get on that coach; they’re essential before you can really start your journey. They are mental changes you need to make before you can go through the bigger changes that will take you from where you are now to where you want to go.

Here’s what most people miss. They think change happens in one big dramatic moment. The light bulb switches on, the clouds part, angels sing, and suddenly you’re a different person living a different life. Bollocks (sorry). That’s not how it works. Change is about small, definite steps. In manageable reflective bites that you can actually digest rather than choking on some massive transformation you’re not ready for.

That’s why our courses are structured as themed collections of small, definite steps taking you through each part of your journey in manageable chunks. With this model, we can cover more ground, and you’ll be far more likely to keep going until you reach the end of the journey, too. Because let’s be honest, if I dumped everything on you at once, you’d feel overwhelmed, you’d procrastinate, and you’d quit before you even properly started.

I’ve seen it hundreds, if not thousands, of times in my practice. Someone comes in full of enthusiasm, ready to change everything about their life starting Monday. By Thursday, they’re back to their old patterns. Why? Because they tried to sprint before they could walk. They tried to get on the coach before they’d even worked out where the bus stop was.

There’s often no shortcut to success. Sometimes it’s about keeping going, one foot in front of the other, even when it feels slow and boring, and like you’re not getting anywhere fast enough. Back in ancient Rome, Emperor Augustus had a motto that I think about often: “festina lente.” Make haste slowly. It sounds like a contradiction, doesn’t it? But it’s not. It means moving forward with purpose but without reckless speed. Progress with patience.

I’m genuinely excited about this course. We’re really going to start introducing you to the cognitive biases, success heuristics, and mental hacks that will help you progress in a clear, organised series of steps. You’re going to learn about things like confirmation bias (why your brain keeps proving you right even when you’re wrong), omission bias (why doing nothing feels safer than doing something), and the framing effect (how the way you think about something changes everything).

These aren’t abstract academic concepts. They’re the actual mental mechanisms that are either working for you or against you right now, today, in every decision you make. Most people go their entire lives not knowing these biases exist. They’re being controlled by their own minds without ever realising it. You’re not going to be one of those people.

But first, you need to get ready. You need to mentally prepare for what’s coming. You need to accept that change is going to require effort, that it might feel uncomfortable at times, and that old patterns will try to reassert themselves. You need to understand that the bus isn’t going to come to your house and pick you up from your sofa. You have to get yourself to the bus stop.

So here’s what I need you to do. Stop waiting for the perfect moment. Stop waiting to feel ready. Stop waiting for some external force to push you into action. The perfect moment doesn’t exist. You’ll never feel completely ready. And no one is coming to rescue you.

What you need to do is make a decision right now, today, to get yourself to that metaphorical bus stop. That means committing to actually reading the next lessons. Not just skimming them while you’re scrolling through your phone. Actually reading them, thinking about them, applying them to your life. It means being honest with yourself about what’s holding you back. It means being willing to feel uncomfortable as you start to recognise patterns you’ve been ignoring for years.

I know this sounds hard. It is hard. But here’s the thing: staying where you are is also hard. Being stuck is hard. Feeling like your life is passing you by while everyone else seems to be moving forward, that’s hard too. You’re going to experience discomfort either way. The question is whether it’s the discomfort of staying stuck or the discomfort of growth.

Think about it like this. Every day you don’t get to the bus stop is another day that the coach drives past without you on it. Another day closer to looking back at your life with regret, wondering what might have been if you’d just taken that first step. The clock is ticking. Not in some dramatic, panic-inducing way, but in a quiet, relentless way that most people don’t notice until years have passed.

I’m not trying to scare you. I’m trying to be honest with you in a way that most people won’t. Because I care enough to tell you the truth rather than just telling you what you want to hear. You can do this. You can change. You can get from where you are to where you want to be. But you have to start. You have to get to the bus stop.

So without any more fuss, read on and get yourself ready for the changes you need to make. A little less conversation, a little more action, as the old song goes. Your coach awaits. The only question is: are you ready to get to the bus stop and get on it?

Let’s go.

Further reading

The Alloy Effect

The Nocebo Effect

Congruence Bias

Why You’re Stuck: And What It’s Really Costing You

Elephant Chain Syndrome

Reality Check

Further reading

Similar Posts