Before I go any further, let me be clear about something. I’m not suggesting you’re some kind of narcissistic sociopath hell-bent on destroying everyone and everything around you. But I am about to tell you about a cognitive bias that might make you look in the mirror and wince a bit. Because all of these…
I’ve never actually seen a person with a halo above their head. Yet every single day, I watch good-looking people, popular people, and charismatic people get more credence in meetings than they really should be getting. I see attractive people in adverts selling you watches, perfumes, and lifestyles you don’t need. And I see you…
A high proportion of people do as they’re told. They go through life ticking boxes, keeping to the rules, conforming, thoroughly playing their part in society as a whole. And there’s nothing wrong with that. Society functions because most people follow most rules most of the time. We drive on the correct side of the…
I have two kids. Let’s just say there’s very often a bit of healthy sibling rivalry going on between them. Actually, scratch that. “Healthy” might be overselling it. Sometimes it’s more like a Cold War with occasional hot skirmishes over who gets the last biscuit or who sits in the front seat of the car….
You’re surrounded by people who are holding you back. Not deliberately. Not maliciously. They probably love you. They probably want what’s best for you. But they’re still holding you back because you’ve been conditioned from birth to conform to the group you’re in, and if that group isn’t going anywhere, neither are you. This is…
You’re doing it because everyone else is doing it. That’s it. That’s the reason. Not because it makes sense. Not because you’ve thought it through. Not because you genuinely believe it’s the right thing to do. You’re doing it because other people are doing it, and the more people who join in, the more acceptable…
Previously, we discussed primary gain, which is the tendency for people to seek reward and avoid pain. The ‘primary’ in primary gain refers to the fact that the behaviour, or the thing that person does or doesn’t do, is giving them a direct benefit. You eat chocolate because it tastes good. You avoid exercise because…
You’re stuck, though maybe you don’t realise it yet. Maybe you’re convinced you’re making progress, working incredibly hard and wondering why nothing’s changing. Either way, something’s not working, and that’s why you’re here. Here’s the uncomfortable truth I need you to hear. Getting the life you want almost always means making changes, and inevitably you’ll…
You know them. Maybe you are one of them. The naysayers, the pessimists, the complainers, the negative people who cast gloom around them everywhere they go. These unfortunate souls live in a world seeing only what’s wrong and what could go wrong. They’re constantly scanning everything around them for something negative to comment on, and…
The last lesson talked about worry, and this feels like an ideal time to discuss the four big emotional drivers behind our worry and how these can affect our thinking more broadly. Because here’s the uncomfortable truth: your emotions are running the show far more than you’d like to admit. The four emotional drivers that…