Curiosity

You’ve lost something along the way.

Not your keys or your phone, something bigger than that, something you had as a child, but you don’t have anymore, chances are you’ve lost your curiosity.

When you were five, you asked questions constantly, why is the sky blue? Where do babies come from? What happens when we die? When you were younger you wanted to know everything. You explored every cupboard, opened every drawer, took the tops off all the pens just to see what was inside.

Then somewhere between childhood and now, you stopped asking, you stopped exploring, and you stopped being curious about the world around you.

That’s a problem.

Everyone talks about grit and resilience and discipline, nobody talks about curiosity. That’s a mistake, curiosity is the positive trait that drives you to do many things, especially new things in your life. It’s what makes you want to learn, to question, to explore, to gain more knowledge. Without it, you’re just going through the motions, you can become bored and uninspired.

Let me show you what you’re missing.

I’ve spent twenty years watching people in my practice, the curious ones get better faster. They ask questions about their conditions, they research their symptoms, they want to understand why their bodies are doing what they’re doing. The incurious ones? They just want a prescription and they’re out the door, they don’t improve as quickly, and they don’t want to understand why.

Curiosity isn’t some nice-to-have personality trait, it’s an emotional drive that pushes you towards inquisitive behaviour. It’s what makes you want to learn, question, explore, and gain knowledge. It’s hardwired into you for survival, when you’re curious, you’re alert, you’re vigilant, you understand the world around you, and you become more aware of threats and opportunities.

Think about it. Your ancestors who weren’t curious about that rustling in the bushes? They didn’t survive long enough to pass on their genes. Your ancestors who were curious about which plants were edible, they learned, they thrived. Curiosity kept them alive.

It still does, but chances are you’ve forgotten how to use it to your advantage.

In students, intellectual curiosity is one of the three pillars of academic achievement, alongside intelligence and effort — and it’s the one nobody talks about. Einstein said it perfectly when he admitted he had no special talent, he was just passionately curious, that’s it. That’s the secret.

But here’s what happened to you, you’ve probably got stuck in your ways, perhaps you stopped questioning. You lost the excitement that comes with pushing boundaries and trying new things. You stopped looking for what’s hidden behind your humdrum existence.

In my practice, I sometimes see patients who come in worried they’re depressed, and boredom or a lack of stimulation turns out to be part of the picture — they’ve lost their curiosity, stopped trying new things, stopped learning and exploring, and settled into a humdrum routine that’s left their mind feeling stale. Working out how much of that is boredom and how much is something more is a job for you and your doctor together, not something to self-diagnose your way out of. Genuine depression doesn’t announce itself as “just boredom”, so if a low mood doesn’t lift when you get curious again, that’s a conversation to have with a professional.

You do hobbies that have no tangible benefits other than your own interest, that’s curiosity at work. You read books that won’t help your career, you watch documentaries about subjects you’ll never use professionally. You learn instruments you’ll never play in a band, why? Because you’re curious. Because you want to keep your mind active, because you want to flex your mental muscles, and stop your brain and life from stagnating.

Or at least, you used to.

Without curiosity, you lose your ability to see what’s possible. You stop questioning your situation. You stop looking for opportunities. You lose the exhilaration that comes with discovering something new. You stop reading, learning, experiencing. You never find what’s still hidden. You never go as far as you could go.

You just exist. You don’t grow.

Here’s what curiosity gives you when you get it back.

First, it makes you alert to opportunity. When you’re curious, you notice things others miss. You ask questions others don’t think to ask. You explore paths others ignore. That’s how you find the opportunities that change everything.

Second, it keeps your mind agile. Your brain is a muscle. Use it or lose it. Curiosity forces you to learn new things, to adapt, to grow. It keeps your neural pathways firing. It prevents the mental decline that comes from doing the same thing every single day for decades.

Third, it decreases boredom. You know that feeling of being stuck in the same routine, doing the same things, having the same conversations? That’s what happens when you lose your curiosity. Get it back and suddenly life becomes interesting again.

Fourth, it motivates you to try new things when you’re stuck. Curiosity is the antidote to stagnation. When you’re bored with your job, your relationship, your life, curiosity is what makes you look for something better instead of just accepting your fate.

Look at children. They leave their comfort zone every day. They learn by failure. They fall down and get back up. It’s a trait they’re born with. It’s how they take their first steps. It’s how they learn to ride bikes. They’re curious about what it’s like to walk, to run, to ride, so they keep trying until they figure it out.

You had that once, now perhaps you’ve lost it.

As adults, we lose the persistence we had in childhood. We forget what it’s like to be outside our comfort zone. We give up far too soon. We stop being curious about what’s possible and start accepting what’s comfortable.

That’s the trap.

So how do you get your curiosity back?

Start asking questions again. Not polite questions. Real questions. Why do I do my job this way? Is there a better approach? What would happen if I tried something different? What am I missing? What don’t I know?

Try something new every week. Doesn’t matter what. A new restaurant. A new route to work. A new book genre. A new hobby. Just try something you’ve never done before. Your brain will thank you for it.

Talk to people who know things you don’t. You’re surrounded by experts in fields you know nothing about. Ask them questions. Learn from them. Be curious about what they know.

Read about subjects that have nothing to do with your work. History, science, philosophy, art. Doesn’t matter. Just be curious about the world beyond your narrow expertise.

Question your assumptions. You believe certain things are true because you’ve always believed them. Challenge those beliefs. Be curious about whether they’re actually right. You might be surprised by what you discover.

Stop accepting “that’s just how it is” as an answer. Children don’t accept that. They keep asking why until they get a real answer. You should too.

Here’s the truth about curiosity that nobody tells you.

It’s not about having more time or more energy. It’s about having more interest. You have time for the things you’re curious about. You find energy for the things that interest you. The problem isn’t lack of resources. It’s lack of curiosity.

You’re not too busy to be curious. You’re too comfortable. You’ve settled into a routine that requires no curiosity, no learning, no growth. You do the same things every day because they’re easy, not because they’re fulfilling.

That comfort is killing you. Not literally (though mental stagnation does have health consequences). But it’s killing your potential. It’s killing your growth. It’s killing the interesting and much more rounded person you could become.

Get your curiosity back. Ask questions. Try new things. Explore. Learn. Question everything. Be like you were when you were five years old and the whole world was fascinating.

Because it still is. You’ve just stopped looking.

This isn’t therapy. If you’re dealing with clinical depression, severe anxiety, or trauma, please see a professional. I say this as a doctor, not as a disclaimer.

Further reading

• von Stumm, S., Hell, B., & Chamorro-Premuzic, T. (2011). The hungry mind: Intellectual curiosity is the third pillar of academic performance. Perspectives on Psychological Science, 6(6), 574-588.
• Loewenstein, G. (1994). The psychology of curiosity: A review and reinterpretation. Psychological Bulletin, 116(1), 75-98.
• Gruber, M. J., Gelman, B. D., & Ranganath, C. (2014). States of curiosity modulate hippocampus-dependent learning via the dopaminergic circuit. Neuron, 84(2), 486-496.
• Berlyne, D. E. (1960). Conflict, Arousal, and Curiosity. New York: McGraw-Hill.
• Kashdan, T. B., & Silvia, P. J. (2009). Curiosity and interest: The benefits of thriving on novelty and challenge. In S. J. Lopez & C. R. Snyder (Eds.), Oxford Handbook of Positive Psychology (2nd ed., pp. 367-374). Oxford University Press.