The Positivity Trap

Positivity’s brilliant.

That is until it becomes a substitute for action.

There’s an entire industry built on selling you the idea that if you just think positive thoughts, visualise your goals, manifest your desires, and believe hard enough, the universe will provide. You’ll get the job, the relationship, the money, the life you want. All you need is positivity, and simply being positive enough is the key to a successful life.

It’s rubbish, it’s not the full picture, and it could be keeping you stuck.

Where Positivity Falls Short

Don’t get me wrong. Positivity is a good thing, and having a positive mindset helps you get rid of negativity and self-doubt in your life. It can direct certain cognitive biases to work for you rather than against you, and I believe that overall, a positive mindset is a far better mental state to have than a negative one.

But positivity by itself? That’s just wishful thinking.

The positivity trap is what happens when you confuse thinking positively with taking positive action. When you believe that visualising success is the same as working toward success, and when you think that simply manifesting your goals in your mind is the same as achieving them.

Falling into this trap will waste years of your life dreaming about something better rather than doing something to work towards it.

The Advantages of Positivity

Small positive changes add up. Doing nothing leads to nothing, and being positive can help you make those small changes, and actually do some of the things you need to do, rather than doing nothing.

A positive person lifts the people around them. They’re better liked, the halo effect takes hold, and they’re perceived as being better than they really are, and they possibly get exposed to better opportunities by others who enjoy their company.

Positivity can be the momentum you need when you hit a problem, and it can be the key to pushing you to raise the bar and develop the self-belief you need. With some people, positivity becomes a character trait, a dogmatic belief that success will manifest itself if they just keep going.

All good things. All useful. But not enough.

Because positivity without action is just fantasy.

Positivity Also Needs Positive Action

Positive patients do better than those who are negative about their conditions, largely because positivity makes them more likely to engage, commit and work harder towards a better result — not because positivity itself heals. Yet patients who are positive but don’t actually do the rehabilitation exercises tend not to progress despite their positivity. Patients who positively visualise themselves losing weight but won’t change their diet stay overweight. Patients who positively manifest good health but won’t quit smoking still have all the risks of smoking.

They’re positive. They’re hopeful. They believe things will improve. But nothing actually improves because they’re not doing anything positive to make it improve.

That’s the positivity trap.

Here’s what you need to understand. Positivity, and proactive positive action, are two separate things entirely. They need to be combined for maximum effect; it’s essential that positivity drives your proactivity, because positive proactivity is the practical manifestation of positivity in your life.

Proactive positivity means you’re taking control of your situation. You’re directing and steering yourself to where you want to go. You’re driving the bus, rather than sitting on the back seat thinking happy thoughts and just hoping you’re going to get somewhere.

Proactive behaviour means you’re taking intrinsic responsibility to make changes to your external environment, rather than your life being reactive or controlled by external factors.

Proactivity is about preparing yourself for the next opportunity as well as making a start. It’s all about taking action and initiative in advance of a future goal or situation. You can also be proactive in avoiding bad situations, rather than just staying positive and hoping bad things don’t happen.

Life Doesn’t Just Happen

Life doesn’t ‘just happen.’ Being positive isn’t going to make positive things ‘just happen’ any quicker. You also need to be proactive as well as positive, concentrating your efforts and influence on what you can control by taking proactive steps and actions that have positive effects on your situation every day.

Sometimes there’s only a little difference in people and their conditions, but that little difference can make a big difference too. The little difference is sometimes attitude, yet often the big difference is whether that attitude gets paired with action.

You can be positive about getting a new job. That’s useful. It keeps you motivated. It prevents despair. It helps you present well in interviews. But if you’re not actually applying for jobs, updating your CV, networking, developing new skills, your positivity is worthless.

You can be positive about improving your relationship. That’s helpful. It prevents resentment. It keeps you hopeful. But if you’re not actually communicating better, making changes, doing the work required to improve things, your positivity changes nothing.

You can be positive about your health. That’s better than being negative about it. But if you’re not actually eating better, exercising, taking your medication, following medical advice, your positivity won’t make you healthier.

The universe doesn’t respond to your positive thoughts. It responds to your positive actions.

Here’s why the positivity trap is so insidious. It feels like you’re doing something. You’re thinking about your goals. You’re visualising success. You’re maintaining hope. You feel productive. You feel like you’re working toward something.

But you’re not. You’re just thinking about working toward something, which is not the same thing at all.

Positivity Can Trap You

Worse, the positivity trap can actually prevent action. If you spend all your time feeling positive about your future, you might not feel the urgency to actually do anything about it. Why would you? You’re already feeling good about how things are going to turn out because you’ve been visualising it all day.

The psychologist Gabriele Oettingen has spent decades researching exactly this mechanism: across her studies, people who vividly fantasise about a desired outcome consistently put in less effort and achieve less than those who don’t, because the fantasy itself creates a feeling of already having arrived.

I’ve seen patients who are so positive about their recovery that they don’t bother with the difficult work of rehabilitation. They’re convinced they’ll get better anyway. They won’t — not without the work — and their positivity is what’s making them complacent.

I’ve seen people who are so positive about their business ideas that they never actually start the business. They spend years visualising success, manifesting abundance, thinking positive thoughts. They never write the business plan, never seek funding, never take the first actual step. But they feel great about their future success, which never actually comes.

That’s the positivity trap. It’s positivity that replaces action instead of fuelling it.

Seven Ways to Avoid the Positivity Trap

First, recognise that positivity is the starting point, not the endpoint. Being positive about your goals is useful. It’s necessary. But it’s not sufficient. You still need to do the work.

Second, pair every positive thought with a concrete action. You’re positive about getting fit? Great. What exercise are you doing today? You’re positive about your career? Excellent. What specific step are you taking this week? You’re positive about your relationship? Wonderful. What are you actually changing?

Third, measure results, not feelings. Your positivity makes you feel good. That’s nice. But are you actually making progress? Are things actually improving? If not, your positivity isn’t working. You need action.

Fourth, be honest about whether you’re using positivity as an excuse for inaction. If you find yourself thinking ‘I just need to stay positive and things will work out,’ stop. That’s the trap talking. Things work out because you make them work out, not because you think positive thoughts about them.

Fifth, question anyone selling you positivity as the solution. Books, courses, and programmes that promise you can achieve anything just by thinking positively, manifesting, or visualising are selling you the trap. They’re making money by keeping you stuck in positive thinking instead of positive action.

Sixth, combine optimism with realism. You can be positive about your goals while being realistic about the work required. In fact, that’s the healthiest mindset: positive about the outcome, realistic about the effort. That combination drives action instead of replacing it.

Seventh, use positivity to fuel persistence, not replace it. When you hit obstacles, positivity helps you keep going. That’s its proper role — not to replace the work, but to help you continue doing the work when it gets difficult.

Here’s what I tell patients who are stuck in the positivity trap: your positive thinking isn’t going to heal your injury, your rehabilitation exercises will. Your positive attitude about losing weight isn’t going to change your body; your diet and exercise will.

Your optimism about your business isn’t going to make it succeed, although your strategy, execution, and adaptation will.

Positivity helps. It really does. It keeps you motivated. It prevents despair. It helps you persist through difficulties. But it doesn’t replace the actual work.

You need both. The positive mindset and the proactive behaviour. The optimism and the action. The vision and the execution.

Stop sitting on the back seat thinking happy thoughts and hoping you’ll get there. Get in the driver’s seat. Be positive about where you’re going, then actually drive there.

That’s how you escape the positivity trap. That’s how you actually achieve what you’re being positive about.

Think positive. Act proactively. Get results.

Further reading

• Oettingen, G. (2014). Rethinking Positive Thinking: Inside the New Science of Motivation. Current.
• Oettingen, G., & Gollwitzer, P. M. (2010). Strategies of setting and implementing goals: Mental contrasting and implementation intentions. In Social Psychological Foundations of Clinical Psychology. Guilford Press.
• Covey, S. R. (1989). The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. Simon & Schuster.
• Clear, J. (2018). Atomic Habits: An Easy & Proven Way to Build Good Habits & Break Bad Ones. Avery.
• Pink, D. H. (2009). Drive: The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us. Riverhead Books.