The Onion Analogy

By Dr Jeff Stoker | General Self-help

Nov 23

Most people I meet or that I have ever met for that matter, most people I talk to professionally, and most people who read this article are just normal people living an everyday life doing the best that they can.

The thing is with self-improvement and why the self-improvement industry is so large is that a lot of people want to improve themselves and want a little more out of life, they may on the surface live an ordinary life but go a bit deeper and there’s often an inner need to want something more too.  

Too many times we are very good at being the person that others want us to be and perhaps we’ve been living a life where something has been missing for a quite a while. Most people I meet are very good at what they do, but some feel trapped, they feel wounded by life events, they have been through a bad situations or they are just in pain either mentally or physically.

I also see people in my surgery who have assumed an identity that fits with the life they are leading, at times people can hide behind that identity they show to the rest of the world and when in times of stress this false front comes crashing down to reveal the pain underneath. There are also those people who construct an identity to create a protective layer especially when they don’t want to admit there’s something missing underneath.

This article is about you improving yourself it’s also about looking at your deeper flaws which is what our courses help you to do. We also help you to hear and deal with the lies you may not even be aware that you are telling yourself too.

There’s a cognitive bias called the Blind Spot bias, and this is simply the failure to recognise one’s own cognitive bias (or more likely biases), and in broader terms, I’d say this is also the inability to recognise one’s own problems and hangups too. 

The thing is failing to recognise that the decisions that you are making are being biased by underlying conscious thought processes can have serious repercussions, and there is definitely one thing for sure, there are always some blind spots in our knowledge.

So how do you get to know what you don’t know, how do you find out what’s in your blind spot, how do you make better decisions, and how can you see problems coming out of the blind spots you have and act on them before things go wrong?

I know where some of these blind spots are and I want to open your eyes to some of the problems they have caused. I want to give you this insight to help you fill a few knowledge gaps to help you to see a few more things around you and to put right some of the problems you may currently have by correcting these biases in how you think and giving you a few better mental short cuts instead.

When reading through the material in our course you’ll begin to change, you will see what’s going on beneath a few of the layers that you show the rest of the world and you’ll come a bit closer to finding out who you really are. 

For some people all they need is to find out a few of the pieces that are missing, for others, it takes a bit more work and effort to really find themselves. Some people don’t want to admit what’s wrong or what’s missing in their lives, and some don’t want to change because it will change who they are and that’s not really what they want. The biggest problem for most of us is that it’ll take too much effort to change, that’s why change happens best when it’s done in small steps.

I do know that little changes make big differences, a tiny change in direction can have a huge effect on your final destination especially if you give it long enough. 

Perhaps there is something you want to do, maybe you are telling yourself that you can’t do it, perhaps you’re too frightened, perhaps you are afraid of what’s missing, or perhaps you still don’t know or don’t want to admit to anyone yet the changes that you know you need to make. 

For some people out of their fear comes their real identity, the aim of this article is really to tell you that there’s a hell of a lot more going on underneath than you ever thought, and you can use our course to help you strip things back layer by layer to look a little deeper at what’s underneath. The onion analogy is about layers because each time you go a little deeper there’s another layer underneath, perhaps it’s only when you go deep enough will you find the bits and pieces you really need or finally figure out actually find out who you really are.

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