Everything is your fault. That’s what you tell yourself. The argument with your partner, your fault. Your colleague’s bad mood, your fault. Your friend’s disappointment, your fault. The weather’s ruined the party, somehow, also your fault. You go through life saying sorry for things you didn’t do, taking responsibility for events you couldn’t control, and…
You want to change. You know you need to change. Maybe you’ve read the books, made the plans, set the goals. But when you try to actually do something different, your brain puts up a fight. Every single time. Often inconsistency-avoidance tendency is to blame, and it’s often the reason change feels so bloody difficult…
Give someone a little extra and often they barely notice, but try to take something away and you’ll fight like your life depends on it to get it back. That’s deprival super-reaction, and it’s probably controlling more of your decisions than you realise. We don’t react the same way to loss and gain. Have a…
You’re going to be fine. That’s what you tell yourself, you’re less likely to get lung cancer even though you smoke. You’re less likely to have a car accident even though you text while driving. You’re less likely to fail even though you haven’t prepared, you’re going to be the exception to the rule. That’s…
You perform at the level expected of you. Not at the level you’re capable of, not at the level you want to reach, at the level others expect from you, and more importantly, at the level you expect from yourself. That’s the Pygmalion Effect in action, and it’s either working for you or against you…
Perhaps you’re making the same mistakes over and over again. You know you are. Same arguments with your partner. Same problems at work. The same patterns repeating themselves in your life. The same poor decisions leading to the same disappointing outcomes. Why? Because you’re not reflecting. You’re just repeating. Reflection in its simplest terms is…
Feedback is said to be the food of champions. It’s a key to successful practice and an essential part of how any learner actually improves, that’s why higher level performers in almost any field actively look for feedback. Not because they enjoy being told what’s wrong with them, but because they’ve worked out that without…
You decide you want a particular car, a specific model or a specific car colour. Suddenly, that car or that colour of car is all over the roads. You’d swear there are twice as many of them as there were last week. You hear a song you haven’t thought about in years and then hear…
Sometimes, in new situations, it’s really common to feel like you’re faking it. You’ve done the work. You’ve passed the exams. You’ve got through the interview, you’ve got the job, even the qualifications to prove you’re competent. Yet there’s this persistent voice in your head whispering that you’re a fraud, that someone’s going to find…
There’s a popular saying that 10 percent of your life is what happens to you. 90 percent is how you react to it. The 90/10 Effect is the recognition that your reactions shape your reality far more than your circumstances do. And if that’s true, you have considerably more control over your life than you’re…