Everyone fails at some time in their lives and failure hurts, it undoubtedly leaves scars, mentally and emotionally. Every day of my working life I see people sitting opposite me telling me about something that has failed in their lives, their relationships, their body, their treatment, their marriage, their business, or something else in their…
This article is about conditions of worth — a term coined by the psychologist Carl Rogers for something most of us carry without ever naming it: the terms other people set, usually without meaning to, for when we’re allowed to feel good about ourselves. Rogers’ idea, from his 1959 theory of personality, is that from…
Some people believe luck is a mystical force, a kind of invisible favour that gets distributed to the chosen few and withheld from everyone else. An explanation for why some people seem to have everything handed to them while you’re left grinding away with nothing to show for it. I understand the appeal of that…
Here’s the uncomfortable truth: you don’t find yourself, you create yourself, and that takes effort, direction, and time. Not just a summer, not just a sabbatical, it takes years of consistent, deliberate work pointed in a direction that matters to you. The person you want to become isn’t waiting to be discovered somewhere on a…
Most people who struggle to make progress aren’t struggling because they lack intelligence, talent, or desire. They’re struggling because they’re trying to do it alone, surrounded by the wrong people, in groups that are quietly working against them. We’ve already looked at some of the internal hurdles that keep you stuck: the stress that quietly…
Welcome to Internal Hurdles. This is built around a single, honest premise: setbacks happen to everyone. The question was never whether you’d face them. It’s whether you have the tools, the understanding, and the mindset to get back up when they do. Most of the obstacles standing between you and the life you want aren’t…
There was a time you thought once you’d done the hard bit, it would start getting easier. Here’s the truth: it doesn’t. Not at this stage. Between 50% and 75%, everything gets harder, the obstacles get bigger, and the finish line starts looking further away than it did at the start. You’re past the point…
Positivity’s brilliant. That is until it becomes a substitute for action. There’s an entire industry built on selling you the idea that if you just think positive thoughts, visualise your goals, manifest your desires, and believe hard enough, the universe will provide. You’ll get the job, the relationship, the money, the life you want. All…
You’re going to be fine. That’s what you tell yourself, you’re less likely to get lung cancer even though you smoke. You’re less likely to have a car accident even though you text while driving. You’re less likely to fail even though you haven’t prepared, you’re going to be the exception to the rule. That’s…
You’ve lost something along the way. Not your keys or your phone, something bigger than that, something you had as a child, but you don’t have anymore, chances are you’ve lost your curiosity. When you were five, you asked questions constantly, why is the sky blue? Where do babies come from? What happens when we…