Life has a funny way of handing us rulebooks we didn’t ask for. Maybe it’s your parents’ expectations, society’s unspoken norms, or that friend who always knows “what’s best” for you. But here’s the kicker: living by someone else’s rules—or even the wrong ones you’ve set for yourself—can quietly hold you back from the life you’re meant to live. Let’s unpack this and figure out how to rewrite the script
The Trap of Other People’s Rules
From the moment we’re born, we’re handed a playbook. “Work hard, get a stable job, settle down”—sound familiar? These rules aren’t inherently bad, but they’re not one-size-fits-all. If you’re chasing a career you hate because it’s what your family expects, or staying in a relationship that drains you because “it’s the right thing to do,” you’re living someone else’s story. The cost? Your joy, your energy, your authenticity.
Ask yourself: Whose voice is loudest in your head when you make a decision? If it’s not yours, it’s time to turn down the volume on everyone else.
The Rules You Didn’t Know Were Holding You Back
Sometimes the problem isn’t others—it’s us. We create rules without realizing it: “I’m not good enough to try that,” “I have to be perfect,” or “I can’t rest until I’ve proven myself.” These self-imposed limits feel like safety nets, but they’re really chains. They’re born from fear, doubt, or old wounds, and they keep us small when we’re meant to grow.
Take a hard look at the “shoulds” in your life. Should you really be doing this? Says who? If the answer doesn’t light you up or move you forward, it’s a rule worth breaking.
Rewriting Your Rulebook
Here’s the good news: you’re not stuck. You can ditch the rules that don’t serve you and build ones that do. Start small. Listen to what you want—not what’s loudest or most convenient. Maybe that means saying no to a commitment that’s suffocating you, or yes to a dream you’ve been too scared to chase. It’s not about chaos—it’s about clarity.
Try this: write down one rule you’ve been living by that feels heavy. Then flip it. If “I can’t fail” has been your mantra, rewrite it as “I can fail and still be okay.” Test it out. See how it feels to live by a rule that frees you instead of binds you.
Your Life, Your Rules
Living by the wrong rules is like wearing shoes that don’t fit—they pinch, they slow you down, and eventually, they wear you out. You don’t have to burn everything down to start over; just take one step toward what’s true for you. The right rules aren’t about pleasing others or playing it safe—they’re about building a life that feels like yours. So, what’s one rule you’re ready to let go of today?
