The agreement frame is an NLP linguistic technique that can be used to get a positive reaction from the person we are communicating with and then lead them to where you want the communication to go.
It lets conversation flow, it creates rapport, it creates a feeling of agreement and it allows communication to happen with less chance of disagreement.
The agreement frame can be used when a discussion is balanced on an axis between another person’s views and your own.
Here the agreement frame is used to create an unconscious agreement from the other person prior to you telling them your point of view.
Developing the agreement frame habit.
For a whole day try it out in normal conversation, whenever you find your self saying ‘but’, ‘no but’ or ‘however’ try instead to say;
I agree and….
I appreciate that and….
That’s right and….
I respect …… and….
Deepening the agreement frame.
I also like to deepen the agreement frame a little more, this really shows you are listening, this is done by showing interest by exploring the ideas, concerns and expectations of the person you are communicating with.
Is that your only concern….
What’s else is on your mind….
Perhaps you can even chunk up the subject to create a real agreement by asking the person;
Can you tell me what’s that an example of….
What’s the purpose of ….
Redirecting the conversation.
When you feel it’s time to get your point of view across say;
That’s right………. and
Thus by using the positive momentum gained by the agreement frame you can now re-direct the conversation by following on with;
You know the issue isn’t ………..it’s ………..
And that means…………..
Perhaps if you feel you must counter with an opposite point of view, perhaps deflect ownership by saying.
Someone might say…………… Wouldn’t you agree?
You should start by consciously trying to use the agreement frame as often as you can, before long it becomes a natural habit and you will find people around you much more agreeable.
The agreement frame is a great tool to help you move conversation where you want it to go by creating positive momentum from the other party. The issue isn’t who says what, the important thing with the agreement frame, wouldn’t you say…..is that it’s a great way to respond when conversation and discussion are at an important nexus wouldn’t you agree..?