LY adverbs are being used much more commonly in everyday conversation, and regrettably that’s why I feel I need to write this short article,
only yesterday during a telephone consultation with a patient, I regrettably counted 8 ‘LY adverbs’ in less than 3 minutes, and that was just one specific word.
As someone trained in NLP and something called the Meta-model they stick out to me as an example of a deletion, however it may be that you are not noticing LY adverbs yet, alternatively you may have noticed how some people are rather annoying starting to use the word ‘obviously’ again and again in normal conversation.
The problem with LY adverbs is that they give a judgement, and this judgement tends to be accepted by us unnoticed (unless it is obviously overused), and this is the problem, because there are times that we forget to question the judgement and it just surreptitiously slips under the radar.
LY adverbs are simply words that end with an ‘ly’ on the end, like commonly or regrettably, please read the first paragraph of this article again, and ask yourself are LY adverbs really more common in every day conversation, and why was it regrettable that I was able to count so many, (you should be saying to yourself it’s obviously because I’m a bit sad, however lets move on).
Using LY adverbs.
We can use them on others to get our judgement across unchallenged, in business ‘clearly’ is the best example of the use of an LY adverb –
‘This is clearly an example of……’
is a great example because the use of phrases like this will sneakily make people accept that your example is clear.
In everyday language ‘obviously’ sticks out like a sore thumb and too many people are using it from habit so stay away from it,
Instead before you say something think about not just the content of what you are going to say and also the judgement you want to get across and choose your LY adverb accordingly.
Challenging the LY adverbs.
If you feel a bit argumentative, or someone is paying for therapy you can do this directly and ask questions like;
“why is it obvious?”
“who says it is obvious?”
“does everyone think this is obvious?”
“why is this not obvious to me?”
The latter is my favorite because it makes the other person think about what’s not obvious about what they have just said.
For the NLP practitioners among you especially if the person talking to you keeps using the same word anchor it with a ‘yes nod’ and drop the anchor when you say the word ‘obvious’ back to them, I also like to use the persons example and spin things around, perhaps with a positive re-frame, a re-direct and get a ‘yes set’ with the nods.
“That’s right (nod) and what’s ‘obvious’ (nod) to me is not ….(what they have just said)…..it’s…..(nod) (what I want to say)…..”
So have fun with LY adverbs in your conversation and consultations, don’t let other people’s judgement slip under the radar, especially when these judgments aren’t true and get you own messages across by using LY adverbs in what you say to people.